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Highest Passion (Posted Sep 05 2005) Sharon Shin - sister in the Lord Julie, When I think of you, a myriad of images and memories pop up in my mental screen. Your beautiful large eyes and beaming smile, your dancing on the beach by the water on one of the last times we hung out, your adorable little obsessions (like getting a kite for the beach bonfire), your "that's sooo sexy!" comments when you saw attributes of Jesus in other people, your peaceful sleeping self cuddled in a blanket as I watched Traffic with you at 2am at your place, your eyes lighting up when you got excited about something, that infectious smile that just never left your face...even when I knew how scared you were inside at times, and your singing "Highest Passion" to me as we tried to navigate ourselves out of Santa Cruz late at night. It's amazing how close we got in the last 2 weeks before you left for Davao. And how you wanted to take me with you. Trust me, if God allowed for it, I would have gone with you in a heartbeat. I took for granted that I would have a lifetime of knowing you more and more, sharing with you, praying with you, ministering with you. In your absence, I am so much more acutely aware of what I am missing. You shared your heart longings and struggles with such vulnerability that I am now so greatly honored to have entered into that intimacy with you. It was God's grace that brought you into my life, even if for that short time. But you impacted me (and the very world around you) profoundly. Now that you are gone, my heart grieves as only one can grieve when we lose a part of ourselves, for by sharing your heart and big dreams, you became a part of me and the dreams you shared became my dreams too. Thank you for teaching me that it's okay to dream big, that God is big enough to accomplish our most wildest dreams, even in the midst of disillusionment. Only, He usually doesn't carry them out the way we think or wish He will. And I trust that you are perfectly and exactly where He wants you to be, resting in and receiving His infinitely abundant love for all eternity. Thank you for all the many things you have taught me and encouraged me in during the time that I have known you. My heart grieves for all that I'm missing out on now that you're gone. Yes, I wish I had known you longer, but more than anything, I wish we could have walked together longer on this journey we were both on. Everything you wrote in your online journal speaks to me in greater magnitude now that you are gone. Thank you especially for this as it speaks to me greatly in light of your passing: "I can only ask to be the best of and live up to what I've been created to be. So even this afternoon's struggles with comparison..there's so much sin in this. I cannot try to fit others' molds; many of which don't even reflect godly values. The shoe that fits others pinches me. as simple as that. I compare and I basically kill the life He's trying to grow in and through me. Why do I often forget that He looked down on me, mapped out my life, took a step back and said, "this is GOOD." B/c of my life experiences I've been able to relate to pains in others of a wide magnitude. How can I complain? He's used me many times over for healing and empathy for others." -July 20, 2005 Yes, and your life was perfect and "GOOD" in the Lord's eyes. I pray that I would come to this realization myself for my own life every day as I seek to walk in the path HE has for ME, just as you set your heart on doing. Ah, I will keep on missing you, Julie Chen. But I know that this is not "goodbye" but "see you later." Thanks for truly living out your heart passions, and for your honesty and sincerity of spirit as you sought Christ out as your highest passion. I know you are rooting for all of us down here as we continue to finish this race! (Heb 12:1-2) Love you sister, Sharon
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